Wednesday, April 1, 2015

RI Dietary Study Baffles Researchers




Rhode Island Doctors Issue Dietary Guidelines for Expecting Mothers - Study shows long-term effects of  pre-natal diet


Wednesday April 1, 2015

PROVIDENCE , R.I.— In a study released today by Rhode Island’s prestigious CCRI Medical School, researchers have found evidence that conclusively links a steady diet of Rhode Island cuisine by expectant mothers, to long-term dietary habits in their offspring. The study observed native Rhode Islander’s in their natural habitat, and identified a multitude of curious behaviors. 
Test subjects exhibited a willingness to stand in long lines for clamcakes and chowder,
were seen serving pizza strips (aka “Pahty Pizza”) at casual gatherings, and frequently approached random strangers with the greeting, “Hi Neighbor, Have a ‘Gansett!”

Further findings suggest the dietary preferences of Rhode Islanders do not change even when moving to another state. Although very few Rhode Islanders appear to actually leave the state, those who do, return to visit as often as possible. These subjects were observed going directly from the airport to Olneyville NY System for “3 All the way and a coffee milk”, before even visiting with loved ones. Researchers indicated that the majority of Rhode Islanders who do permanently relocate, take up residency in Florida, where they are known to aggressively lobby management of the local Publix and Winn-Dixie to carry “Cawfee syrup.” These transplanted Rhode Islanders face numerous other challenges, including ordering “Pasta with Gravy” and actually being served gravy rather than sauce, seeking out a “Coffee Cabinet” and being directed to a furniture store, and the horror of seeing others drink frozen lemonade with a straw!

In conclusion, Doctors say these peculiar preferences are wide-spread and should be considered epidemic. However, researchers were able to determine that this phenomenon does take place Only In Rhode Island.